Many opinions, a few biases.
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Judith Butler’s “Gender Trouble” explained through cats.


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—추격자 (Instrumental)




forget ringtone, i will be dancing to this on the bus tomorrow probably

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The Celebrity Magazine Scans by LIKE | DO NOT EDIT 

The Celebrity Magazine Scans by LIKE | DO NOT EDIT 

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persephonebasilissa asked: [Last night my husband....] When my sons were in their early teens, I told them that my most basic definition of a man was "someone who takes care of business without complaint or self-pity." That's what I wanted them to aim for in life. As I pondered the definition of a (good/proper/complete) woman, I thought the same was a decent starting point, but that something needed to be added -- like supporting or comforting others. Then I wondered: is it fair to expect more out of my own gender?...

[cont’d] … Wouldn’t I want men to also support and comfort others? Then again, is that really integral to what we as a species have most needed men for? Maybe women have, over the course of millennia, been most valued for their ability to support and comfort those around them. Maybe that’s the base? Maybe it’s only in modern society that we have the relative luxury of mixing, matching and switching these roles to suit the desires/needs of ourselves and those around us….
 (A reply to this.)
It goes back to your definition of what it means to “take care of business.” We don’t think of men who take care of children and housework “without complaint or self-pity” as more “manly” than men bellyaching while working out of the house, as a society, though we should.
My husband and I have a more “traditional”/stereotypical gendered split of the work due to a combination of factors, some we could have predicted (it was easier for me to take a break from grad school than for him to leave his career; I breast-fed both kids, which made it harder for me to leave them for long periods when they were younger) and some that were more happenstance (he’s in a hot field right now; if he’d also wanted to go into academia, our situation would likely be very different). But his definition of a good father includes tenderness. He took a week off work to take care of the girls when I wanted to spend the anniversary of my mother’s death with my grandmother in Florida. He has bath-and-bedtime-stories duty every other night.
I don’t know a lot about how gender roles get formed and reinforced, although I suspect it has a lot to do with employment flows. (As an aside: the Grand Narrative on employment rates by gender and media coverage of a “backlash” against women in Korea.) I suspect over time there’s been much more variation by place and home as to how men and women are “supposed” to behave than is contained in the larger, more simplistic narrative.

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do not edit. | © lovelychan
do not edit. | © lovelychan

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do you ever feel like there’s just so many pretty girls but most dudes are just subpar like there are radiant goddesses everywhere and just piles and piles of guys in backwards baseball caps and sandals

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With regards to my last post: so Katherine wrote a thing about the recent Poptimism Skirmishes (it seems silly to call them “wars”) wherein she made the point that all this sniping about an overflow of pop-concentration in music criticism would make more sense if the pop-concentrators were actually able to make a damn dime. (She has since taken her original post down, so I’m paraphrasing; if wrongly, someone please thump me over the head and make me edit.) Ann Powers and Carl Wilson came to the conclusion that “the poptimists have won” by passing back and forth names of exceptions to the rule:

But that glimpse is deceptive. Look at the actual music-criticism world, and you’ll see is right about one thing: Pro-pop forces dominate. There’s you at NPR, me at Slate, Jody Rosen at New York magazine/Vulture, Jon Caramanica and his colleagues in the NYT proper, Sasha Frere-Jones at The New Yorker and more at nearly every other prominent mainstream venue you could mention. Even Pitchfork, once a redoubt of indie-rock obscurantism, now devotes generous space to dance, pop, hip-hop and other forms.

That “the actual music-criticism world” consists of NPR, Slate, New York, the Times, the New Yorker, and Pitchfork — I admire Ann Powers, but that is skewing the sample to an unfortunate degree.

My original intent, when I saved Katherine’s piece in my drafts three days ago, was to say, “How do we solve this problem?” — “this problem” being intelligent criticism of pop music being a money-losing proposition for all but an extremely small number of lucky souls. But looking at this brings up the related problem of, how do we enlarge the number of outlets that can be established enough to (a) influence the larger dialogue and (b) pay their writers?

(A side rant: I once wrote for PopMatters. No, really. Then I got into a tiff with the then-editor, and quit in a righteous huff because, after all, they weren’t paying me, even though they expressed the hope they would be able to someday. That was 2001, I think. They still ain’t paying.)

I want to say, perhaps overoptimistically, that part of the solution will come from piecemeal turnover: Schumpeter’s creative destruction as applied to publishing. Two other women I admire, Maura Johnston (maura) and Nicole Rivera (noxrivera), just overcame significant but temporary obstacles and restarted their digital platforms this month — Maura Magazine and Pop Reviews Now, respectively. (For those wondering, I believe the former pays contributors and the latter does not.) The Toast turns a profit, and y’all know I am all about gaining greater power and influence for The Toast.

I say “only part” because freelancing is precarious; having more places to send pitches to makes it less precarious but not altogether safe. The bigger part is the relationship between the social safety net and commercial risk-taking: the fact that it’s easier to “do what you love” and “follow your dream,” etc., etc., with health insurance in hand. Unfortunately, at least in the United States, the call-and-response of “Because SOCIALISM!” isn’t going to allow for much progress there.

Why We Fight About Pop Music →

This is Ann Powers and Carl Wilson talking about poptimism / patting themselves on the back a bit about poptimism / concluding that the poptimists have won. But my definition of “the poptimists have won” at this point is katherinestasaph having decent health and dental insurance and spending money left over — more on that in a moment — so I can’t say I agree with them.

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Girl’s Day x Boy’s Day

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Clue (1985) dir. Jonathan Lynn.

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